I want to have done a good job


If I had 2 hours a day to da anything, what would I do?

Wait. Listen. I have 700 hours a year – How could I give up on news entirely? Ah the temptations are enormous, I just think about it and I want to open it. But with 700 hours a year, what do I want to do?


Do I want to go back into government? Right now I feel too apathetic to want to do anything. I’ll take my money and run, thank you very much. Audio… If I could listen to Chinese Audiobooks, that would be useful. Listening to English books on 3x is also good.

How many books have I read this year since I started to actually listen to Audiobooks?

Probably about 20. Have I really gainod from reading these books? Some of them, yes. What would I have gained if I

What are the other options?
Chinese news
The economist
Music / Thinking
Podcasts (this american life)


Where do I want to be in 5 years?
2019 – 33 – I want it to be related to China. I think, honestly, that I would like most to be at Facebook.

Hmmm. I’m facing an existential crisis. Step back, think. I want to prevent the US and China from going to war. Is that really what I want? I might want to go live in China. But if I did that, I would want to do it for a western company… I think. Maybe I just want to find a great wife and start a family…. Maybe I just want to play a bunch of starcraft. But I don’t think any of that is true.

I want to have done a good job. That’s the fundamentals of it.

Addiction, Again


StarCraft….. I don’t think I’m going yo play tonight but I still think that I am beholden to the addiction. Its had worse effects on my life, and led to magnetism, arguably the biggest internal struggle that I know.

So what do I think aboit it? Its free except for time. I could play it tonight then what? but there’s a difference between now and two nights ago. The old strategies won’t work, and now is when getting better at StarCraft is a matter if work rather than a matter of play. That’s why I default to news, even today, because it’s easier.

To get better at StarCraft, I would have to watch more pro builds, because I think I’ve gone as far as my rrent builds will allow. Then play many more hours. Its like I’ve gone as far as the easy skill will let me.

So I play basketball instead, play the work game, play all the other things that are important in my life. I imagine it will come back, and when it does it will strike with a vengeance.

The question is, do I want to become diadiamond league? I mean, if I could choose the things to be good at, video games are not on the list.

Maybe in 5 years, I’ll come back to it and try to get really good? No, I think it’ll be some shorter amount of time I’ll be back laddering to get to platinum, but I think for now I should just rr


That trip was insnely fast. Now I’m in a car, going to the airport, because I know that Facebook will reimburse the taxi fare and this way I have a place to sit and type. The calculations that I make… I could probably increase traveling efficiency by bringing along dramamine. Right now…. efficiency is decreased due to fatigue. This fatigue is not nearly as bad as it was in India, I just remember a complete fog shrouding life, whereas here it’s been like normal living, with the exception that after 7 pm I feel jet lags oppressive weight being down on my eyelids.

Talking with the UC team in person was really good, I think it’s the opening chapter of what could be a really good relationship in 2015. And if they keep up the 6m month on month growth, then it could really kickstart Facebook’s efforts in India.

If google is the enemy, an alliance between Facebook and Alibaba in India could be powerful indeed. How cool is this? I’m a pawn playing diplomacy, but in this game the pieces actually move, and I can actually influence and think about them. But Zhen Fang made it clear, my value lies not in my ability to discuss, the value lies in being an engineer that can talk about the technology. That felt clear in the room with UC… I still feel half a step behind, but at least I can be in the same room and know what’s going on.

Can I just take a step back, and say FUCK YEAH! I just survived a 4 hour meeting that was conducted nearly entirely in Chinese, and the hardest part was the technical discussion, not the language? Give me a week in that environment to get the Chinese down and I’ll be right there discussing with them all of the finer details of UC. That I’m possibly the only person representing Facebook with a large Chinese company in 大陆 right now, and that when it comes time to actually deal with China for Facebook, I’ll be right there to make things happen?

Privacy could kill the whole thing, but at least then it won’t land on my head. Even if it does all land on my head… that’s OK. I’m enjoying my time here, I’m learning a lot, and I’ll be able to land somewhere else if necessary.

Side note, all of my complaining about food in America, the lack of good Chinese food, the general lack of flavor, it’s all true. Any other thoughts呢?

We’re at the airport. On to the next adventure, but this was a pretty awesome one.

Gamify Life

20 minutes is the unit for adrenaline. It’s different than coding, that’s for sure. But how do I get the same viral loop?

One of the biggest diferennces is that playing starcraft is much less generative than any amount of real work. It’s like surfing on my subconcious, seeing what I’m able to remember. If I don’t get the second pylon up, then things go poorly, but it’s not about actually thinking about the second pylon. It’s a matter of building up routines that will last the first 5 minutes. The harder part, then, is that those sort of routines are much harder to build up for the course of a day.

I just want to leave this thread open, and see if I get any good thoughts to try.



我感觉到我自己的生活离他们越来越远。 Mariah决定立命在斯波坎,爸爸妈妈都会留在这里。但是我自己也不太喜欢斯波坎,除了satori以外我什么都不会做。




我感觉到我自己的生活离他们越来越远。 Mariah决定立命在斯波坎,爸爸妈妈都会留在这里。但是我自己也不太喜欢斯波坎,除了satori以外我什么都不会做。




我对她有比较好的看法。她这么平静接受推特的决定我觉得是个很好的迹象。有什么征兆呢? 她没有做过爱。如果她对性关系觉得很尴尬那我自己会怎么办呢? 早放弃、早分手比苟延残喘好多了。我今天晚上无意中说了几句恭维话,我估计她也不知道我说的有多么重要,但是她给我的印象就是很像Rachel M.一样。那我这趟去香港不要发生关系,就算有机会。就是一种尊重我和她未来在一起的可能性。


Never, ever ever. 我估计她会试图,我感觉很遗憾,但是我会跟她结婚吗? 我不会。These violent delights have violent ends, 而且是回复不了的关系。她还没get over it,所以我们下次说话我得清清楚楚的告诉她情况如何。邹锦徳的经验就证明毛马不吃回头草。这个决定对我好,也对她好。最后可以说的话就是I thought about it before I said it, I meant it when I said it, and I meant it when I made the decision. 


那我应该认真一些吗? 如果我和Annie发生关系的话,我想要对她来说很Special. 



我对她。。。。虽然Pam和Stu每次说我们很合适我还是不知道。我感觉我自己没有cracked into her,我没有真正的跟她说话。而且她有男朋友,抽烟,也住在西雅图。



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